The Chill Part 4: Freljord Patch

Two years ago tonight, I was on the precipice of a life-changing turn of events. And now I think we're approaching full circle.

"THE CYCLE OF LIFE AND DEATH CONTINUES. WE WILL LIVE... THEY WILL DIE."

That's what Nasus says when you select him in League of Legends. Nasus is a cool champion and has a lot of potential to get out of hand, but he just got nerfed with a patch released today. Not a humongous nerf, as far as I can tell, but a substantial nerf to one of his most useful abilities.

"It's only FUN... if they RUN."

That's one of Warwick's movement lines. I really like Warwick. He's possibly my favorite champion nowadays, although I still really like Cho'Gath. I think I'm actually better with Warwick, although that's not saying a whole lot.

We had a fantastic comeback against a fed Riven tonight (and yes, I helped feed her, although I wasn't quite entirely responsible) who was a few hits away from destroying our nexus when Danny Latin managed to get up in time to hold her off. He died again in the process, but bought time for our two damage dealers (Jax and Tristana) to get up and chase Riven off, and then Ben (who was playing Amumu) and myself as Cho were able to jump into a team fight and kill most of the rest of the enemy team. Then once we cleared out the minion waves from our almost entirely defenseless base, both full teams were up and ready to go, and we braced for impact. The enemy team charged in to try and take us out, and we destroyed them. We got into a few more brief skirmishes in the woods (especially after killing Baron) before we were able to truly push back, but once we did, the game was over.

So what does that mean?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's a video game. It has no impact on the real world whatsoever, and as much as I'd like to read into it, it doesn't mean jack squat. I'd tell myself it was a good omen, a sign of impending victory in the face of almost certain defeat... but I figured our undefeated 2 headed giant run on Saturday followed by an undefeated night of League was a good omen too. And now here we are, at almost certain defeat. Because you can't fill your future out with daydreams. Well, sometimes you can. I did once. And that ride has been and continues to be awesome. But the problem with that is I think it's given me a false sense of confidence, the kind of "you can do anything you put your mind to" notion. Sure you can, if you also get lucky. I've always maintained that luck is an essential factor in success, and I'm realizing now that to get so lucky more than once is highly unlikely. I guess what I need to do is patch not even my sense of expectation, but my sense of possibility.

I apologize for the melodrama and the rambling. This has not been my best day ever. I'm sure I'll be embarrassed if and when someone actually reads this, and in a few years or even months I'll look back and chastise myself for being so open about it. But for now, it's gotta go somewhere.