More Than 20 Minutes

March 4th, 2011. It was a Friday night. I'd spent the better part of the prior week planning, building, testing, and fine-tuning a standard deck. Mirrodin Besieged Game Day was the following day, and I really wanted that full-art Black Sun's Zenith; even moreso, I wanted the Pristine Talisman with the Mirrodin Pure expansion symbol on it. I spent the entire night poring over and playtesting my deck, trying to find any last flaws to correct before the tournament. During a break in testing, I stepped into the kitchen of The Orphanage, and I briefly mentioned the tournament to a girl who lived there. "You're going to win," she said. "Well, we'll see about that," I replied. "Hopefully."

March 5th, 2011. Mirrodin Besieged Game Day. Top 8 got the promo Black Sun's Zenith, and the top 2 of each faction-aligned deck got their faction's promo (I made sure my deck had at least 10 Mirran-symbol cards to qualify for the Pristine Talisman), regardless of total standings. I placed 6th out of 35-some-odd people, and second out of the Mirran faction decks. I got both promos. I came back to The Orphanage that night and brought news to the girl I had spoken to the night before that I did indeed win. Her reply? "I knew you would."

I've always been a big proponent of and firm believer in destiny. There are those who deny the existence of destiny, who say that it flies in the face of free will... and I'm beginning to think maybe they're right. Maybe life isn't about what you're meant to do. Maybe it's about what you set out to do, how hard you work to get there, and whether or not you persevere to see it through to the end.

There are those who say that believers in destiny just use it as an excuse for their mistakes or poor choices, because ultimately destiny means we're not responsible for our own actions. I've never really thought about it that way, to be honest. In fact, I feel like I've taken responsibility for most of my mistakes, and really almost entirely looked at destiny as an explanation for my successes, however major or minor. I dunno, maybe I just have a really low self-image that makes me tend to think that if I do well at something, it wasn't because I exemplified any particular skill, it's just because it was "meant to be," because destiny had decided it would be so. For instance, I did well at that Magic tournament because I got paired up against the right people; I got my first girlfriend because we just happened to be in close proximity to each other for a long time; I got my current job because I was in the right place at the right time and got lucky with my auditions; I made it to Gold in Season 3 of League of Legends because I got matched up with people who carried me to victory in placement. But now that I think about it...

Maybe I did well at that Magic tournament because I practiced. I put a lot of time and thought and effort into a deck that would effectively combat the meta, and I spent the better part of a week working on it, longer than I've ever spent working on something Magic-related before. Maybe I got my first girlfriend because after she initially shot me down, I didn't give up. I was determined and persistent enough to show her why dating me would be a good idea. Maybe I got my job because of how much time I spent working on perfecting my audition tape, and how much I focused on being as good as I could possibly be in my auditions. Maybe I got to Gold in League because I play every night and (despite what it seems like sometimes) tried my best to get better, and performed well enough in my placement matches to, at the very least, not throw games away.

And if that's all true... then maybe it's not all about destiny. Maybe it's about preparation and hard work and persistence in the face of failure. Maybe it IS true that you can do whatever you put your mind to... and maybe I just didn't realize that that was, all along, a key component to my successes.

And if that's true... well then...

"Barney... story's not over."