Glorious Day

Dear Life,
Please slow down. I can't think straight anymore.
Love,
Bill

There is way too much going on right now. I was pondering this on Monday afternoon as I lurched down the back hallway of Demoss toward the bus stop after my thrice-weekly lunch with Danny Latin. Between the activities in which I participate, my everyday social experiences, and all the responsibilities I have both with my Coms 101 classes and my own coursework as a grad student, there are information and ideas screaming through my brain at a billion miles an hour, and it's often hard to keep it all straight. Heck, I meant to write this blog two days ago, I'm just now getting to it, and even now the conditions of my current surroundings are less than ideal for writing... it's a wee bit noisy, and I get distracted easily... but anyway, moving on.

What I really need is one day that lasts longer than normal, say 48 hours, with no responsibilities other than to attend class for the normal allotted three hours, and then a period of straight-up nothing in which I can accomplish whatever I want. Class is almost cathartic, especially because when I'm done there is an incredible sense of relief at the freedom that lies ahead. After class, I want to be able to just come back to the dorm and relax... I mean the normal daily activities (barring homework) are great, I love playing softball and volleyball, I enjoy engaging in childhood endeavors that to this day provide great amounts of entertainment (such as playing Pokemon or watching Yugi-Oh), and of course I love hanging out with friends in most any capacity... but I think I need to get away from some of that for a while. I need time to get my head on straight, to escape from the day-to-day routine for a bit, because it's driving me crazy. I want to catch up on 24, I want to clean up my room, I want to arrange all my toys on top of my dresser (I've wanted to do this since the beginning of the semester when I came back from Christmas with a bunch of nifty new items), but I feel like the way things are going, there is no time for most of this. I try to make time, I say to myself "Today I am cleaning up this room," and what ends up happening is we watch 8 episodes of Yugi-Oh in a row.

While I'm at it, it would be helpful if all the females in the world just disappeared; and when I say "disappeared," I don't mean to just remove them from existence, I want them to be completely erased from my knowledge and memory as well. Girls complicate things unnecessarily, cloud your judgment, and send you on pointless excursions for wild relational geese. It would be beneficial to eliminate these distractions from my life, and I think it would help narrow my focus and assuage my spirits for them all to go away.

Obviously this fantastic contrivance won't ever really happen, so in its place I'd like to supply you with an observation that I've made about womankind. There appears to exist within the female psyche a phenomenon which I will call the "Association Quota," or for our younger readers, the "Hangout Limit." The AQ dictates that females allot a certain amount of time to be spent with a given person/group of persons, and it is patently unacceptable to spend any time in excess of this allotment with said people. This is perfectly exemplified when you invite a girl or girls to do things with you and they respond with such classics as "But I just spent all day with you," or "I'm not in the mood for fast food," as if to say that your company would be an intrusive violation of their personal time, or probably more accurately, they're sick of you. Considering the fact that women are the gender that generally values marriage as an institution of love and that sex is just a pleasant by-product of this love rather than an ultimate goal, this perplexes me, because what is marriage but a lifelong defiance of the Association Quota? And we wonder why marriage fails 50% of the time.

On a related note, it always blows me away when people (and I really mean girls) claim that they "don't want to date right now." What? Really? If that's the case, then let me ask you this: do you ever plan on getting married and having a family? Because if you don't want to date now, then when do you plan on starting? We're all in college now, on the brink of the real world, what, exactly, are you waiting for? I've got some advice for those of you who don't want to date at the moment: keep holding your breath, because if you do it long enough, maybe a carbon copy of Jesus himself will drop down from the sky and sweep you off your feet, and you'll have lots of holy babies who never sin.

The weather needs to get better. Rain puts me in a bad mood. At least tonight's volleyball game helped me work out a little frustration, so I guess I am thankful to be busy for a bit.

I just listened to the entirety of Weezer's Green Album (barring "Hash Pipe," which I skipped because, in my efforts to relax and simplify, I wanted to get to the more mellow "Island In The Sun"), and I must say, it occurred to me that Weezer is a great band on two levels: they provide excellent background music if you're just looking for something other than white noise to occupy the local wavelengths, but they also offer solid lyrical content if that's what you're after (and I often am). Just a parting thought; you may not agree, and if you don't, that's fine, just know that you're wrong.