I'M DONE WITH THIS

I was notified earlier this evening that one of the greatest sports franchises in the history of athletic competition had just played its last game. At this point, details are scarce, but one thing is certain: Unauthorized volleyball is no more.

We were never very good, at least not while I was on the team, but that wasn't a huge problem for me. It was a rather unusual circumstance, because typically, in any sport/game/contest/challenge, as far as I'm concerned, winning is everything. I suppose being smacked in the face by the fact that you suck quite hard changes one's outlook on that kind of thing. After I realized we weren't ever really going to be all that good (a realization that came during our first game in the Fall of 2005), it became less about winning and more about just having a good time playing volleyball with my friends.

I reference the Fall semester 0f 2005 as the first semester of Unauthorized volleyball, but technically speaking it was the second. Alas, I was not a founding member of the team when it received its name, but as far as I'm concerned, that iteration of the team was only a precursor, a preview, a prophecy of the glory that was to come in the following years. Interestingly enough, that very first semester (Fall '04) yielded a team much more skilled than the team of the golden age, and in a similar fashion, the team in its final year (Fall '09 - Spring '10) was likewise much better than any of the middle years. In fact, the Fall '04 team fluked its way into the championship game (and lost), a feat that was never repeated. But the Fall '04 semester was Unauthorized in name only; the true legacy began the following year under the guidance of Ryan Trammell.

That year was a very interesting one, on and off the court, largely due to the drama that follows you around like a stormy cloud whenever you get yourself involved with one or more women. All drama aside, though, it was a great experience. For starters, I crafted my signature move, the Dragon Fist, during our long, hard practice sessions on the grainy courts of David's Place. Our first-ever victory came on Halloween in 2005, something like 8 games into the 13-or-so game season. For that special occasion (Halloween, that is, not the unforeseeable win), we all arrived at the game dressed in costumes and played with as much of our costumes on as we comfortably could (I, for instance, came as the Phantom of the Opera, which was not befitting of a volleyball game; thus, I took off my coat, cape, and mask, and was then mistaken for a Mormon missionary). The Fall '05 semester also saw the creation of the legendary Unauthorized shirts, which were painstakingly hand-drawn one CFAW weekend in November so that we could wear them for the playoffs a couple weeks later.

After undergoing a change in leadership between semesters, Unauthorized returned to the Liberty IMS scene in the Spring of 2006 with Danny Latin as the captain. It was during this semester that we discovered the mystical power of the Underoath DVD. After we discovered how awesome the Underoath DVD was, we decided that watching it before games would be a good way to get ourselves pumped up. The guys on the team (which, at that point, were myself, Danny Latin, Andrew Clark, Jamie Newman, Phil Worthington, and Ryan, who would come whenever he wasn't working) did just that before a game during the middle of the Spring '06 season, and lo and behold, we emerged from that game with a win under our belts. We decided to watch it again before the next game, and yet again, we won. I think we got three or four wins in a row this way, but ultimately the Underoath DVD lost its magical charm. Still, it gave us a bunch of awesome phrases to use during the games. One of our favorites, "I'M DONE WITH THIS," perfectly encapsulated the end of that season. One of the girls on our team, Apryl, had a bad habit of using her feet to hit the ball instead of her arms. During a playoff game (the second one, I think), it was game point for the other team, and the ball went out of bounds a few feet. It was still easily retrievable, and Apryl went after it, but instead of bumping the ball back into play, she decided to give it a good kick. The ball went flying off into the distance. I'M DONE WITH THIS. Season over.

In my mind, the '05-'06 school year was the definitive year of Unauthorized volleyball. We were worse that year than any other, but that was the only year all the core players were on the team both semesters. There was a hiatus during the '06-'07 school year for lack of girls, but thanks to Vanessa, we got a few girls together for the following year and Unauthorized was reborn. By that point, Danny Latin had already defected to Dann McGavisk's team (due to the year-long absence of Unauthorized), and the Fall '07 semester was one of the wackiest in history (which stands to reason, as I had taken up the mantle of team captain). Andrew Clark was back and Aaron Goslar and Corey McCoy had joined the team, but Ryan was gone and Jamie was only there intermittently, since he was on a ministry team and was often off with them doing ministry gigs to benefit the youth of America. Probably the most historic addition to the team in that semester was one Miss Jessica Bowman, not only because she was one of the most reliable girls the team had ever seen (and, for the record, one of the very few girls I would actually consider a good friend), but also since she would change the relationship metagame not long afterwards.

During the Fall '07 semester, we would use a bunch of random phrases for our team cheers (for example: "Nut-butts on 3 - 1, 2, 3, NUT-BUTTS!") after time-outs and at the end of games (we never used a single phrase more than once, in fact), but we never used the team name as one of those cheers until after our very last game. In addition, that was the semester that Coach Bill's 3 P's of Volleyball were introduced. Unfortunately, I can't for the life of me remember what the first two P's were; as far as I know, the only one anyone remembers is the third P, P-move, which was mentioned because many times people would stand still on the court and not make much of an effort to actually get to the ball, a habit that irritated the heck outta me. The Spring '08 semester witnessed not only the return of Ryan Trammell, but also Danny Latin, who, while returning to his volleyball roots, helped kill off the random phrase cheer. He also made our team a lot better, so I can't really complain, and in truth, it was rather silly.

The '08-'09 school year didn't see any major shifts in the paradigm of the team. The remaining core members, myself and Danny Latin, recruited some new girls, and our team improved in skill, but still stayed true to its roots of being pretty bad and having a good time with it. We also managed to get Phil Worthington back on the team after two-and-a-half years, and in the Spring semester we were finally able to enlist the aid of Aaron Crawford. We weren't nearly as unhinged as we had been the year before, but we were actually starting to shape up into a half-decent team. Plus, for the first time ever, we had fans. A real, live, honest-to-goodness cheering section came to watch us play on more than one occasion. Friends from our dorm and sister dorm actually came multiple times to root for us, an unprecedented scenario in the history of Unauthorized volleyball. And, in what would, unbeknownst to me, be my last semester on the team, the Dragon Fist finally, and for perhaps the only time ever, performed a useful function in a game. One of the former club team players had his own team, and he had a nasty serve. I was playing in the back middle, and his diving line drive serve was coming right at me. I instinctively threw the Dragon Fist up in front of my face and watched as, in slow motion, the ball skimmed just over the top of the net, then lasered downward without warning, right underneath the stomach of the server as he dove to try and save it. His wide-eyed expression at so sudden a return of one of his formerly indomitable serves was one of the most fulfilling things I ever witnessed in a volleyball game.

I suppose that's where my input on the matter ends. My last intramural volleyball game was against our bitter rivals, the Spartans (the second incarnation of Dann McGavisk's team). They were a very good team, but we gave them a game, losing by only a few points each time. I think that was the best I've ever seen our team play together, and I was not ashamed in the least. In fact, I can't think of a more appropriate way I could have ended my run as captain of Unauthorized. When I didn't come back to Liberty at the beginning of this year, Danny Latin took over as captain, but he was the last core member left. Jess and Phil were still on the team, and they recruited some new girls who were actually quite good, which was, as far as I'm concerned, total culture shock for Unauthorized. But like I said, I wasn't there (I did see a few games when I visited in the Fall, and I can confirm that they were very good, but that's about all I saw), so I don't have much to say on the matter. I do know, though, that being a good team was never one of Unauthorized's characteristics, so it would have been a little weird for me had I been there. Nevertheless, it would have been pretty cool, and I'm glad they carried on the legacy and actually made progress with the team.

Unfortunately, now the season is over, and with its passing, so too passes the legacy of Unauthorized. I guess this is something of an extended obituary for the team, and I guess this post is also probably meaningless to most, but hopefully I've captured some of the memorable moments for those of us that lived it. I had some great times with some great people during those three years that I played, and though we were never very good, we had a lot of fun together. And now, after reiterating for the thousandth time that I don't know James, and warning everyone not to swim with gators or sharks, I can say with finality:

I'M DONE WITH THIS.